I have been waiting for a while before adding my memories to those that I have read here, hoping that I would be able to pick out something particular that summed up my relationship with Mary but all that has happened is that every day I have recalled a new event and now would have to write a hefty memoir, so I will keep these reminiscences for a hoped-for future memorial. I always called Mary Mother because that it was what John called her and I first met her when I was 18 and I didn't want to address her as Mrs Woodward which would have been appropiate in the 1960's. Mother could have given lessons in how to be an ideal mother-in-law. Whatever she thought of my shortcomings as a wife and parent she never let me feel that she had any critical opinions of me. She looked after my children and loved them as much as John and I did. I am beginning to get tearful now so I will save my memories for another day. Goodbye beloved Mother-in-law.

I remember my Aunt Mary mostly in my childhood which, as i'm now 75, is a very long time ago (!) but I remember her vividly. She visited our house in North London regularly with her sons/ my cousins John and Ant(hony) .. I enjoyed their visits as us boys were of similar ages and could play together and sometimes with my Uncle David. who also was of similar age. I don't know why I remember a particular incident when we were playing in the garden and Ant picked up a worm and swallowed it! I ran in joyfully to tell my Mum who was horrified and my aunt who was quite non-plussed. I also enjoyed my visits to the Woodwards in Ilford and Toot Hill(?) . At one time my Mum was quite sick and my aunt Mary offered to look after me and I spent a magical week or so staying with her family and she looked after me very well and I had lots of fun with the boys, I noted that when we were all naughty she was very strict with her sons but i did not receive any punishment as she clearly recognized I was 'vulnerable'.. In any case rightly or wrongly, I always felt she had a soft spot for me and I always liked her a lot. I stiil was in contact with her in adolescence though less so and I remember exchanging nice letters with her while at University..But in adulthood we fairly lost contact. In retrospect I regret not having got to know her more in adulthood but work and family -children and grandchildren - always seemed to intervene. I'm really pleased,however, that I renewed our contact by going to see her with my wife Annette and David and Rita less than two years ago at Little Orchards. i found her amazingly sharp and lucid only handicapped by her deafness. We had lunch in the local pub and when writing afterwards proposed meeting us again for lunch 'in town'! We never took up her offer and in time her health deteriorated. In sum she clearly was a remarkable lady and I feel privileged to have been her nephew.

Time spent with Grandma at Colliers Hatch is the dominant memory of my formative years. Sitting here as a fifty-year-old it seems strange to think that Grandma and Grandpa left this magical place 26 years ago, so it's been out of my life longer than it was in it but those memories remain, bolstered by the reminders of those times always present in Grandma's home, the beautiful pictures drawn by Grandpa and the framed photographs of family in the garden. My earliest memories are of living in the extension at Old House with Mum and Dad after we had returned from Pakistan, the arrival of my little brother Dan and those precious evenings I got to spend on my own with Grandma when the other grown-ups took themselves off to the Mole Trap. Whilst living at Old House we were taught to respect the boundary formed by the door that separated the two parts of the house (with an unfeasibly high step if memory serves, or perhaps just high for three-year old) and I was always delighted when we were allowed to go through as I knew I’d get to spend time with Grandma and there’d be a story or other treat in store. Once we left Colliers Hatch for Hornchurch and then, Harold Wood, we were regular visitors and used to see Grandma and Grandpa weekly, usually a Sunday morning drive over there for a cup of coffee. We used to stay the night and those big family occasions would usually mean the best treat of all, a long ramble in the woods. We would stop and play at the ‘helicopter’, actually a collection of logs from felled trees and enjoy weak tea and slices of buttered malt loaf that Grandma brought along to provide sustenance. As I got older and grew out of walks and ‘helicopters’ I still looked forward to staying at Grandma’s house she was had an engaging story to share or sage advice to be offered, whilst I went through the standard teenage allergic response to advice and opinion offered by my own parents, I knew better than to ignore my Grandma and as such I don’t ever remember us having a cross word or disagreement. I saw less of Grandma in my twenties and thirties, working long hours and socialising meaning that visits to Colliers Hatch and later Stebbing were a rarity but whenever the Woodward’s and Rowley’s came together for a family party I would seek her out and make sure that I had some quality time to chat with her. Grandma always had her finger on the pulse and an opinion to share on current affairs as well as words of encouragement, guidance, or praise to be offered as I found my way in the world. I consider myself lucky to be the oldest of her grandchildren as it meant she was young enough to appreciate my own kids as they arrived. I remember her joking that she was put-out that Auntie Pam had beaten her to being a great-grandmother when I told her that William was due in 2002. Followed by Austin in 2006 and Avril in 2009 Grandma was able to play with them all and kept a small stash of toys to be enjoyed when we visited her at Little Orchards. The latter years were tough, caring for Grandpa as he became totally reliant upon her up until his death in November, 2010 and then the hammer-blow of losing her son, my Dad John, in 2012 made Grandma very unhappy but she kept going, forming firm friendships with her neighbours at Little Orchards and still hosting the family regularly for lunch at the pub down the road with coffee at home afterwards. Despite failing health, she was mentally alert and able to hold her own in a conversation right up until the last few weeks. I saw Grandma for the last time on March 13th. She was exhausted and completely reliant on her carer and close companion, Audrey, who had nursed her over the last couple of years. I said my goodbyes not knowing then it would be for the last time but through my almost daily contact with Audrey from that point on I knew that we were in the final stages of a life well-lived and when the end came on 9th April it was a great comfort to know she was able to go to sleep at home in Little Orchards as had been her wish. I will miss not the Grandma that died in April 2020 but the one that I remember guiding me with love and affection from the early seventies and for the next four decades. The world a is a poorer place without her Matt Woodward - April 2020